Languisher Cocktail

I like random processes when I make up my mind to. Maybe it’s because this world requires an ever increasing level of deliberation for the thoughtful person just to stay sane. So once in a while in a moment of whimsy (meaning boredom), I like to spin the Mixilator and see what comes out. Since the fun is in letting the machine make the drink, I don’t fiddle with the buttons too much except to specify that the cocktail be simple to prepare. Even if the results are too bizarre to try—and they tend to be—I’d like to be able to make the drink if I want to. And now and then, it gives you something good. Take the Languisher Cocktail, a simple boozy drink with nice ingredients.

Languisher Cocktail

Chill cocktail glass. Prepare as follows:

In pre-chilled cocktail shaker combine

• 2 oz tequila añejo
• 1 oz Johnnie Walker
• 1/2 oz St. Raphael
• 3 drops cherry liqueur

Shake with large cubes of ice as though you’ve just perceived a rapidly advancing case of the trots. [You see, the charm of the Mixilator is the element of surprise. And don’t you find that sometimes it’s best not to try to follow a recipe too closely? Stir.] Strain into chilled cocktail glass.
SOURCE: THE MIXILATOR

This is a rich, strong, medium-dry cocktail not unlike a Manhattan but with the black pepper bite of añejo tequila. (I used Hornitos.) Specific though the instructions are (maybe too specific), there’s no garnish mentioned. I went with a couple of Luxardo cherries, which brought out the taste of the scotch as I ate them. I had no St. Raphael so I substituted another quinquina, Punt e Mes. For the cherry liqueur, maraschino seemed like the obvious choice. I might have had a few more drops than three. Tequila-forward without citrus. Very cool.

Mixilator Madness

Will androids one day rule the earth? Can a computer create a decent cocktail if you give it clear instructions and ask nicely?

Last night I settled down at the computer with a Tropical Itch and nothing much in mind except harmless diversion. I went to the CocktailDB and ran the Mixilator. To my surprise, it actually came up with a potable cocktail I had ingredients for, more or less.



Sobbed Downer Cocktail

Chill cocktail glass. Prepare as follows:

In pre-chilled cocktail shaker combine

• 2 oz cocktail Sherry
• 1 oz blended Scotch
• ½ oz orange bitters
• 2 drops peach bitters

Shake vigorously with fresh snow until thoroughly blended and creamy. Strain into chilled cocktail glass.
SOURCE: THE MIXILATOR

Obviously the name has to go. There are already sufficient downers without having to make one up. (Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Sob and you’re gonna clear out the bar.) Instead, let‘s call it something classy: the Max Ernst Cocktail, for an artist who incorporated chance elements in his work.

As for the ingredients list, this has considerable promise. Sherry and scotch are generally tasty, but which sherry? Maybe a dry one? I have some amontillado. Great. I’m out of Johnnie Walker but got this nice Peat Monster for Christmas. Perfect. And scotch and orange have a natural affinity. Use up the end of the Fee’s plus some Regans’. (Two drops of peach bitters? You gotta have a gimmick.)

Fresh snow is certainly poetic, but shake a scotch cocktail? This random nonsense can only be taken so far. Stir with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Dry, rich, woodsy—really pretty good for a drink by a machine.

This recipe was the first one that was generated and it sounded reasonable. Just to see, I ran the Mixilator nine more times, and they all seemed, well, random. And the good recipe I found still needed to come alive with some human decision making. I don’t really think this is a consistent answer to being stumped for a drink to make on a Tuesday evening, but there’s always the odd chance.